Mr. Right is acting wrong and many different women have the same frustrations.
Director of Western Student Counseling Center, Dave Brown said that a significant amount of students attend counseling because of strife or issues in their romantic relationship. Brown said that the majority of students seeking counseling for romantic relationship issues are women.
“We have probably 1 out of 5, or 20% percent of the students come in because of relationship issues. I would say about 75 to 80 percent of our case note is females,” Brown said.
There are seven simple steps that any woman can experiment with to improve the wrongs that Mr. Right might be doing.
#1: Express your emotions
Western sophomore Frantz Sanon admits that the way he knows for sure if his partner is bothered is through her verbal and nonverbal communication.
“The first sign if she is upset with me is obviously she’ll tell me. Another way I can tell she’s mad is when she’s distant, and if I ask her what’s wrong she tells me ‘Nothing,’ which gives a hint that something is wrong with her,” Sanon said.
Sophomore at Western Truly Le has been in a relationship for over two years and admitted that if she is ever unhappy with something in the relationship, she makes sure to communicate it to her partner.
“Our relationship is very straightforward. If I feel like he’s doing something that I don’t like, I tell him about it and vice versa, because a relationship without trust is nothing and any form of communication is key,” Le said.
Before you can fix any doubt or any issue, it needs to be recognized. Le went on to explain the importance of communicating with one another.
“If you’re curious or if you want to know something, you have to talk to your partner,” Le said.
#2: Give him more space than he could want
It sounds crazy, but Mr. Right will sometimes feel the need to occasionally take a breather. When it seems like he is trying to “get away” for a little, as much as it can hurt, give it to him.
Le had valuable advice for those that have constant curiosity in their minds.
“You have to know your partner. If he says that he’s not cheating or he’s not doing something, you have to believe that until he gives you a reason not to trust him,” Le said.
Make him miss you. If he decides to “take a breather” with the guys one day, try to find something to do that will make him feel like his time with you is limited.
#3: Treat him the way he treats you
If Mr. Right isn’t treating you right, then the old trick “give him a taste of his own medicine” will come in handy. The odds are, Mr. Right won’t think the way you start treating him is right either. In this case, the odds are in your favor.
If he’s not texting you, don’t text him. If he’s blowing you off, start blowing him off. If he’s being one way, be the same way.
Brown encourages all Western students to stop and think about what they have with their partners and emphasizes the importance of realizing when there is something special.
“Particularly romantic relationships are hard and you have to work at them. Sometimes if you begin to take them for granted, they can get away from you. We really stress for students, if you have a relationship and it’s a good one, don’t take it for granted,” Brown said.
#4: Be bad by looking BAD
If you have a serious romantic partner, you know their likes and dislikes. You know if Mr. Right likes that little, black dress you wore for dinner one night.
You notice when he complimented your hair when you did it that certain way, or when you did your makeup that time.
If Mr. Right is acting wrong and won’t fix it, look your “baddest” in that way you know he will notice. One way to get his attention is by looking your absolute best.
#5: Forgive but never forget
If Mr. Right starts to realize that he is acting wrong and wants to fix it, forgiveness is the anecdote. While it’s best to forgive a genuine apology, forgetting doesn’t have to be necessary.
“The goal of a relationship is to be with that person through thick and thin and not let petty things get in the way and effect that relationship,” Sanon said.
#6: Love yourself.
Being content in knowing who you are as a full person will better you and your partner. Brown explained the importance of loving yourself before giving yourself to someone else.
“You need to get yourself fulfilled first before you can then offer yourself to another person,” Brown said.
Look in the mirror, realize your beauty, and never be ashamed.
#7: Love him or leave him
The final step in this experiment is to stop and evaluate yourself and your partner.
If Mr. Right is still refusing to understand how you feel, then ask yourself the pros and cons of that relationship. Sanon gave insight into what every partner should question.
“Give them one or two chances. If you give them any more than that and they keep messing up, that just shows they have no respect for you. I think if a guy truly loves and cares about a woman and their relationship, he will fix his act immediately. If he keeps repeating the same mistakes then he’s not meant for you and you’re not meant for him,” Sanon said.
Brown advised all students in a romantic relationship to look at two choices if you must question the outcome.
“If you’re in a bad relationship either work to change it or get out. Life’s too short to spend it in a bad relationship,” Brown said.
When it’s all said and done if Mr. Right won’t work to try and fix what is wrong, then maybe Mr. Right is actually wrong for you.
If you are in a relationship or in need of someone to talk to, visit the Counseling Center in Eder Hall 203.