A Horrendous Host

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It’s like “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” but in middle school and no one cares.

Saoirse Ronan examines herself in the film version of Stephenie Meyer’s “The Host”

After the success of the Twilight series, Stephenie Meyer’s other famous novel “The Host” was greenlit to have a feature film of its own. This was a terrible decision.

“The Host” received almost no media promotion and that was probably because even the studio realized it was a terrible. That also is the reasoning why the film made next to nothing in box office numbers.

At first look, “The Host” has some promising qualities. It stars Saoirse Ronan who earned herself an Oscar nomination for “Atonement” back in 2007, so there was thought of some strong acting at least. That didn’t happen.

The story was reminiscent of “Invasion of the Body Snatchers,” which deals with the idea of aliens being able to “invade” the bodies of humans on Earth and take them over. This definitely was an intriguing concept and brought hopes for an exciting and thrilling film. That didn’t happen.

There are two problems with this entire story.

The first is that these “aliens” are just played by obvious former male models who have decided that their modeling careers are dead so now they should try acting, because what else do they have left to do with their lives?

The other issue was that they ran with this idea where while the humans are taken over by these “aliens,” the human self can still communicate with the alien through their subconscious. This has potential for some decent tension, but instead of the humans trying to plead with the aliens on how they need to stop terrorizing, they feel the desperate need to talk to them about their “boy problems.” Hello teenage drama.

The pacing in “The Host” is about as slow as a tortoise in a 3-mile hurdle. It’s unbearable at times. There are moments where the story could have  a decent progression, but any hope of that is ruined by Niccol’s pacing of the film. The audience is bored instantly.

What it boils down to is that this is a science fiction story that is dipped into a boiling pot of a teenage love triangle. It is a bleeding ear struggle for an audience member to have to constantly hear “I want to kiss him!” and then “You better not!” and then “I’m going to do it!” This is what Stephenie Meyer called “writing.”

All horrendous storylines aside, there were some slight positives about the film that kept audiences from walking out of the theater. The cinematography was visually pleasing. They played with a lot of blue and golden tones that made for some really beautiful imagery that distracted the audience from the deafening dialogue.

Despite the poor script, Ronan was still able to pull out some nice moments. She has the uncanny ability to make the audience feel for her without saying a word. No script can ruin that raw talent.

“The Host” is for all intensive purposes one of the worst and most disappointing films this year. If you read this review and still feel the need to get in your car, drive to the theater, and waste $10 on this trash, you clearly have a personal problem.

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