The Great Divide: Don’t do it!

By Daniel Donan

By the time you read this I will have maintained a vow of celibacy for nine months. I am aiming for a year.

I will tell you why this is significant.

When I was four years old I was molested by a seven year old girl. I never looked at it that way or even saw it as anything bad as I was growing up. It mostly just involved stripping off our clothes and lots of little kisses to the places that were different on the two of us. There was no use of force or coercion, we looked at it as a game. She called the game “Humping.” I was fairly enthusiastic about it and to this day a small part of me still loves her. Wherever you are Rachel, you changed my life.

Now with the knowledge of psychology and endless hours listening to Dr. Drew’s Loveline on the radio, I know that it was molestation. It had a lifelong effect of hyper-sexualizing me. Although I played the difference for my friends, after that I knew girls really didn’t have cooties, and although I had no name for what they did have, I knew I wanted to see one again. The thing that makes me the most sad is that she probably learned that behavior from some adult teaching it to her. Often I still cry for her.

As soon as I hit puberty I was off like a rocket, grinding my loins on anything that would grind back. Statistics show that the average man thinks of sex seven times a day, for me it is just once. One long perpetually sustaining thought that occasionally gets interrupted by reality.

For me, sex was my everything. Luckily in this perverted weird world we live in, I knew I was not alone.

People are crazy about sex. It is the biggest business there is out there. For every one normal web site there are five porn sites. Sex addiction is not just an addiction for Tiger Woods. We all have a bit of the bouncing bed beast inside of us. All my life I have embraced that beast.

Now I have it on a leash.

After nine months I can see things differently than I have before. I see how many people have an addiction to touch and a neediness for company. Most people cannot sit alone in their thoughts for longer than five minutes before grabbing their phones. We rush from lover to lover these days in such a whirl that the term “serial monogamist” has become a part of the zeitgeist. We work so hard to find that happiness that happens during the three to five minute afterglow that comes with the little death. Because the truth is when that bit is done right, it is amazing.

So why resist? Because it makes those moments of passion that much more precious if they pass less frequently. Because the perspective you gain about the way people move and interact and touch is mind blowing. Because learning to live with the world without wanting to mount it is very enlightening. Because celibacy helps you see the world without living at the sexual demands of anyone.

Oh and the national infection rate of herpes is 26 percent and condoms suck. Also you can get mouth cancer through performing oral sex on someone with HPV. Might as well just keep it in your pants.