Woman worship welcome

By Daniel Donan

I love women. I really, really do. The whole species of them. From every big butt to every flat chest, from all the cleavage in the world to every labium, from Sara Palin to Hillary Clinton, from Lilith to Eve. I love them all. With March being Women’s History month, I wanted to take some time to express to the world the unique filial I feel about the female creature. I wanted to write why we should look at women of the world and acknowledge the most brilliant thing ever said by Vanilla Ice: “word to your mother.”

The simple fact is that women are the mothers of man. That alone makes them more noble than any machismo laden act of daring performed by man. In the dawn of humanity we showed a much more spiritual reverence for the matron of our lives. We lived in caves and worshipped the earth mother who kept us warm and safe from the monsters outside. Back then, a woman’s wisdom meant something greater than we understand today. Back then, being blonde put you in the company of Aphrodite and Athena.

Now we live in the dying days of the patriarchy. For such a long time the world has been run by the thinking that although you saved the women and children first they were not as important as the man. Women have been disregarded and made to play the role of victim throughout literature and all of history. Though there have been the Joan of Arc and Jane Austen types, the last two thousand years have seen a bit of dark ages for the ladies of the world. It is sad really.

We still live in a world where half the folk think the other half are the weaker sex. We still live in a world of sex slavery and the cliteroctomy. Women, themselves, still believe everything they are told by a beauty industry that hates them. We should be living in a world where the woman is worshipped as the life giver that she is.

If I can get down to the crude science of it then I might suggest that the female of the species is the biologically superior creature when it comes to complex biological systems. It all comes down to number of holes. The simpler an organism, the less holes it has for things like respiration, digestion, excretion and reproduction. Simple life forms like the hydra have one hole which they do the whole shebang through. Earthworms have an entrance at one end and an exit at the other end. Males of the higher mammal order have a hole for eating and drinking, one hole for solid excretion and one hole that handles both liquid waste and reproductive materials. The female has all that and a separate tract for urination and reproduction. The female therefore is the more evolved and biologically complex organism.

Yes, I may be a man and many of my gender brethren may be calling me traitor right now, but it is time to cast off the foolish notion that boys are better than girls. It is time to say “word to you mother.” I know that if I were stranded on an island I would rather be surrounded by women than men. In fact I think that would be alright. So here is to the ladies. In the words of another great lover of the ladies “giggity, giggity goo!”