The existential ramblings of one confused artist

Commentary Opinion

Some people may get the idea that I don’t have much tolerance.

They may very well be right.  

But I can’t imagine that being distracted from incorrectness would be detrimental — to all but our reputations—to us as truth conquistadors.

There is a chance that what we hope we know about what we’re supposedly “qualified” to know is an illusion.

I don’t expect that just because, let’s say, someone is serving me coffee, they necessarily deserve to be continuing what they’re doing. In fact, by the time that coffee person gets around to seeing my face, their apparent disgust for what they do is sometimes far too recognizable for me to not notice, which forces me to leave without my joe.

Coffee served with a side of self loathing is bitter. I don’t know how many times I’ve ordered and left.

I don’t know how long I’ve ordered the same thing from the same person and they look at me like they’ve never seen me. We don’t think we have to be in a small town to practice “small town recollection,” do we?

What in God’s name am I talking about!?

The reasons for wanting to be better weren’t explained to me. It was a matter of personal deduction of how other people have appeared to me along the way, and then wanting to go farther to be as sincere as I can.

It may seem negative to size people up without them having the chance to defend what’s going on with their lives. But they’ve had their chance and, honestly, I don’t feel all that much pessimism in my veins. These are people who are afraid to do what is right in the times of total drasticness.

These people are too afraid of what will happen to them if someone else is recognized as the bearer of ‘truest truths.’
One of these people I am not nor ever shall be.

No one should, but they are indeed around us—the people who don’t know they should be trying to become better than who they are.

I will say it as clearly as I can: if someone doesn’t like what he or she is doing, they should give it up and move on to find a better self.

My apologies, sincerely, to the people who mistake arrogance for credentials, leisure for responsibility, lying for the truth. I do hope that some enlightenment could eventually be reached for these people, these stubborn fools.

I’m least of all afraid of the truth about life, changing and potential.

I cannot help always wanting to be the one who will tell the truth, forever, as I see it. Because, as I see the world at this point in my life, the truth is that we could all do well to become better people.
 
This isn’t a political statement. It’s a reduction of my mother’s famous words to me as a kid, which stick in my psyche today, “think before you act damn it!”

My thoughts to some of the people who are higher-up on the totem pole than myself would be something like, “think before you think you can out-think—don’t mistake yourself for someone you think you are.”

I say this because teachers have constantly been forcing the idea of being eternally humble in my area of expertise, which is: I haven’t decided on just one yet.

But what I’m not seeing is them being humble themselves.

It’s never too late to be better people.

For those of us who care to see the infinity of individual realizations there are to see, it’s never too late to give someone seemingly beneath what we do a chance to hopefully make our lives easier by some fascinating turn of coincidental co-existence.

Let’s be what we really want to be. Good people.

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