Hoop-jumping 101

Commentary

Through my time in college, I have come to believe that Missouri Western is raising, not highly trained professionals ready for the real world, but expert hoop-jumpers that would do the Ringling Brothers proud.

The sheer volume of red tape to be encountered on this campus is astounding, and students are forced to clear every obstacle in their path, or they will pay.

For example, I live on campus and have a Residential Hall parking sticker on my car. I also have a handicap placard, and when necessary, I drive my car across campus and park in the handicap parking in front of Eder Hall.

I have done this many times without issue, but last week I attempted to, and to my chagrin, all of the disabled parking spots were taken.

Making a quick judgment call, I parked in the closest visitor spot and put my placard in the window, hoping the Ticket Fairy might realize what was going on.

Well, either the Ticket Fairy did not know why I parked there, or he didn’t care, because I returned to my car after classes that day to find a ticket under my windshield wiper citing the fact that I was parked in a visitor’s space.

Well thanks, Sherlock. I’ll be contesting that one.

I have several times heard the complaint that a student received a ticket for parking in a space that had one white line and one yellow.

Now, I’m sure that’s just policy around here, but it does strike me as a little squirrelly.

And you know as well as I do what it’s like to deal with Missouri Western Financial Aid.

Enough said.

Situations such as these are common occurrences at Missouri Western.

Whether you’re dealing with Public Safety, Financial Aid, lack of parking or dorm life, the minor (and major) annoyances never seem to end.

Not to mention that we’ve got all these required, upper-level classes that are only offered in spring semesters of every third, odd-numbered year, except on leap years when they’re offered over Christmas break.

That may be an exaggeration, but it feels like that’s how it is when you’re planning your last semester and realize you have to stay another entire year in order to take one more class and graduate with your degree in Trapeze Artistry.

I’m convinced they make class schedules so confusing simply in order to keep students parking on campus so the Ticket Fairy will have something to do.

Whether that is the case or not, I believe we can all agree that all the restrictions, requirements, hoops and red tape around here are pretty aggravating, and it would be nice if the university strove to make it easy for me to focus on my studies instead of having to skip class in order to contest a ticket.

But apparently, this course in Ticket Contestation is a requirement for my degree, so I will attend like the good little student I am, so that one day, when the big, bad world hands me a parking ticket, I will approach the bench with a confident smile because Missouri Western prepared me for just such a day.

Now that’s what college is all about.

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