Independence: rite of passage or reason for panic?


Astrologists say that people who are under the sign Taurus are stubborn and unwilling to change.

Being a Taurus, I resent that assumption and don’t believe it to be entirely true. It’s not entirely false either.

I accept and embrace change at times and other times I violently protest.

For instance, my father thinks that I am now old enough to pay half of my rent. I am up for this change, and I think that as a self-proclaimed independent woman I should at the very least pay half of my rent. However, when it comes down to it, a hard decision for me is buying this awesome purse and getting my highlights retouched or using that money to pay my half of the rent.

As time passes and responsibilities mount, I find myself caught in a vice and unwilling to move from being safe and dependent on my parents to being unsure and dependent on myself.

Unfortunately, I have the kind of parents who don’t care how I feel and are looking forward to giving me that last shove toward my total independence from them.

Independence from my parents scares me. The behind-the-scenes things that I never thought about paying for will be dropped in my lap come May, regardless of my income.

Health insurance, car insurance, dental insurance, vision insurance, student loan payments, car payments, rent, food, electricity bills, phone bills- thinking of having to take care of all these matters takes me to the brink of hyperventilation.

Who knew being a grown up would entail so much? I would rather have my Barbies back and a sunny afternoon.

Those Barbie days are over and the real world is looming over my head.

My options are to be swallowed in the dark abyss of reality or get a plan together and make reality march to my cadence. I have no intention of being swallowed.

Therefore I have to gird up my loins, brush my hair aside and put on my game face. Being independent and ready for the world has it drawbacks.

After family members realize that I am nearly finished with school the dreaded question floats around. “So, Lauren, when are you going to get married and start a family?”

The first time someone asked me this question I was taken aback.

I am barely fit to take care of myself and can’t even do that totally alone.

I don’t think the government would allow me to care for a child. And the thought of pregnancy makes me twitch.

Also, the loss of the lackadaisical days and spending money on whatever I want doesn’t make me happy.

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