Bathroom banter

Oh the places you’ll go and the people you’ll meet… in public bathrooms.

In all my years of using public facilities I never took a good look at what actually happens in the facilities in regards to conversationverbal or not-so-verbal.

There are always the non-verbal irritants. The first offense is people not washing their hands after expelling waste from the body. Assuming that we are all adults, we should know that washing hands after excreting waste is a good way to reduce passing germs from one to another. Think of it as a random act of kindness and a way to prevent those nasty looks that the germ-free people dish out.

The second non-verbal offense is not the one that is seen or heard. You know what I am talking about. If you are having a bad day, stay at home.

There are also good verbal occurrences that take place in the restroom.

It is common knowledge that most women prefer to go to the restroom with a friend. I will provide an example of where more than one woman in a restroom comes in handy.

When I went to St. Louis recently, my friends and I were in a sports bar and we needed to use the facilities. We went and on the way out a debacle arose.

My friend was looking in the mirror and couldn’t for the life of her decide if she wanted her bangs behind her ears or in front of her ears.

I was at a loss as well.

Her hair looked good either way. Just as I was about to give my final opinion, a lady in a red Cardinals sweatshirt stepped out of the stall and asked if she could help out.

She looked at my friend’s hair and said she like the bangs behind the ears. We all agreed and the problem was solved.

Was this a stupid girl moment that took more than five minutes?

Yes, which is why men and women have separate restrooms.

After the problem was solved, the lady and I chatted a little about where we were from, how exciting it was to be in St. Louis at that time and what I wanted to be when I grew up.

It was nice to briefly bond with someone over something so trivial as my friend’s bangs.

Another instance of pleasant verbal communication in public restroom settings is when random women strike up conversation while waiting in line to use the facilities.

As a young girl I watched my mother do this so many times and end up being ‘friends’ with the women that she met in line.

I guess making friends while waiting to pee takes the mind off of the urgency of the situation. I thought it was strange, we had all come to this place for a limited number of reasons.

One of them I was sure was not to meet new best friends.

However, as I got older, I realized that when we are all waiting to use the facilities, all differences drop and we are just humans that need to expel waste from our bodies.

Sick and sad as it is, this is a perfect way to bond.

For a brief moment, regardless of money, class, ethnicity and language we have all come together to do the very same thing.

In this we are sisters and can converse with one another about how it is a tragedy that women’s restrooms have three stalls while the men’s has five stalls and six urinals.

This can then spur into a conversation about men versus women in general where women forget their need to pee and high-five over knowing someone else who has fallen into the
toilet because their inconsiderate male counterpart has yet again refused to put down the toilet seat.

I still have issues with using public restrooms, however, if there is a good mixture of fun people in there, it could be a well worth-it situation.

So men, when we go to the bathroom for more than 15 minutes and come back to you giggling, it’s not from relief.

We met someone to bond with in the bathroom and had a brief girl’s night out in the worse of places.

Don’t ask if we are ok, of course we are, we just had a little fun at your expense.

Let’s have dessert.