A good percentage of the students here at Missouri Western may not be aware of the epic battle that is waged everyday between sworn, mortal enemies right here on campus. No physical blows are exchanged; instead they have been replaced by dirty looks and cursory glances as they pass each other in the breeze way between Murphy and Eder Halls.

That’s right, I’m talking about the war between the inconsiderate smokers and their tree-hugging counterpart, the non-smokers.

Everyday, without fail, you will see people smoking in the breezeway between Murphy and Eder despite signs in the enclosed terrace that clearly state that the “smoking area” is around the corner.

A smoker like me would argue the validity of these signs to begin with. I seem to  remember being scolded for writing on the walls as a child, don’t these chalk messages go against everything that we have been brought up to believe?

Some would define such signs as “graffiti” and rightfully so.

I don’t see the Dean’s seal of approval below the signs…

What makes them so special that they are impervious to the basic rule that has been applied to all signs that are to be posted on campus? As long as that is true, how come we can spend nearly a million dollars on a new football field but we can’t buy a bucket with some soapy water in it to wash the pillars?

The argument has been made that it is not fair to the people who don’t smoke because, brace yourselves, second hand smoke can cause cancer.

I will yield to the scientists on this one. Its true, prolonged exposure to secondary smoke can cause cancer, however, the slight waft that you might get as you rush past a smoker isn’t going to land you in the intensive care unit.

You people make it sound as though we smokers are chaining you to the pillars, forcing smoke down your throats, laughing diabolically as your still developing pink lungs are gasping for their last breath of sweet, fresh air. This clearly isn’t happening, well, at least not after last semester. Basically, your argument can be relegated to a minor nuisance. So we have something in common now.

There are several things that I would like to change around here that frustrate me to my wit’s end, so I am willing to make a few concessions.

• If you get off your cell phones ( I hear the secondary waves could cause cancer)

• Stop applying make-up as you’re parking.

• Take the ear phones out and pay attention to where you are going.

• Put down the lip gloss.

• Or discontinue standing directly in front of the doors (are you serious people, come on).
When any of those things happen, I might be willing to listen to your arguments about my habit. However, if you think that it might be a bit of an inconvenience for you to walk around the corner before placing any calls, then perhaps you should consider what it is that you are asking us to do.